Carnival Triumph? Avoid the Poop Deck.

I’ve saved this story for some time and figured this would be the best time to ask the question. Is a cruise all it’s made out to be? I guess you could put me in the class of folks who just don’t get it. I mean, a few of the perks I get, such as the pricing. It seems to be pretty cheap for the most part but I’m sure some things can get quite expensive. Such as alchohol. I’ve heard a few horror stories of travelers receiving their final bill only to realize they’ve created their own Ft Knox of liquor in their stomach. I actually had the opportunity to go on a cruise once, yes, opportunity. It was a family trip over a decade ago, except one family member didn’t quite make it. Yours truly. While attending college in Mobile, I was to meet my family in Miami via plane. My flight would leave from Atlanta to Miami, their’s from Knoxville to Miami. To make a long story short, some issues on one of the planes caused the reunion to never take place, and for me, it was a long drive back to Mobile in a full out rage. Remember, cell phones were not the rage, so miscommunication was the norm. I always thought I missed out on a good time, and being that it was family, probably did, but I decided that day I would never attempt to go on a cruise again. For no other reason but spite. Fast forward to the present and I find that I still have that mentality. I just don’t get the cruise fascination. As we have sat on many beaches over the last several years, we’ve had the opportunity to speak with the cruise passengers as they had their day trips to some pretty fantastic locations. Based on our observations, we realized that our reluctance to take a cruise seems to be a pretty good decision. It seems most of the time that we were enjoying our relaxation on the beach and playing in the water, we watched the cruise passengers steadily watching the clock to make sure they didn’t…well, miss the boat. Several wanted to know how we made our travel arrangements work for us, and at the fraction of the cost most people experience. You could see it in their eyes that many didn’t want to leave when the taxis were calling their boats. In a sense, we felt sorry for them, but not really. I mean, when one of the most beautiful beaches in the world goes from no elbow room to a handful of folks soaking up the last few hours of the day, the feeling is quite sweet. If there’s a positive to taking a cruise, I guess it would be the ability to visit several islands in one trip. Ok, I see that. But I need more than 5-6 hours to do what I want to do. So, for a long time, I’ve wondered, “Am I just being difficult about cruise ships?”

Then came this past week. Watching the thousands of folks walking through their own waste on a boat was quite sickening. See, I lived in Mobile and if you’ve ever been a resident of this fine city, you would know that the smells of the paper mills that once wafted through the southern air could not have matched up with what these folks brought into this small Alabama port. How often does every level of a cruise ship turn into the Poop Deck? It did not look fun. It did not sound fun. And the smell of rotting food and feces…well, that’s it. I’m lowering one of those boats into the water my damn self and getting away from you stinky buggers. This isn’t the first bad cruise story I’ve heard. We all know about the nasty stomach bugs that make their way around. Of course we know about the Concordia and its horny captain. So again, convince me of the bright side, because I’d much rather be drinking my umbrella drink ( ain’t too proud) and soaking up the sun on a white beach with clear blue water, then watching Washington give me the shout out from across the Lido Deck. This is not your 80s Love Boat mind you, we’re talking about raw sewage! And nobody should be talking about raw sewage! There must be some good cruise stories out there, but I can’t imagine they will ever include me. But if you think you can convince me, I’m all ears! Not all noses.

Want to get away?
– Passengers of Carnival Triumph


  1. Nancy

    I too do not like cruises! And you made a very valid point about sitting on the beach and looking at your watch because you have to return to the boat. I also agree that after this week on the Poop Boat I REALLY don’t want to go on a cruis! I will gladly spend my days on shore watching the cruise ships come and go while I sip my tropical drink and not worry about the time!


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